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I saw the clips of Michael Vick’s post-hearing statement. Here’s the transcript if you missed it.

My first thought when I heard his statement was: Hmmmph.

I would have liked to hear more details about his remorse. All of the generalities didn’t really settle right with me. He seemed sincere, but I don’t know. He did after all lie to the NFL and the Falcons management.

Side note: Dogfighting is bad, but can you imagine how bad this whole thing would have been if the Feds had caught him gambling on the dog fights?

I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up.

A lesson we all need to hear.

I’m upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.

Um, I don’t think we find Jesus, Jesus finds us. Hope it still seems like the right thing after “right now.”

Hey, Paris Hilton found God in jail.

I think the jury’s still out, er..uh, oh wait.

Well, you know what I mean.

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