So someone sent me a Word Document yesterday.  Opened my e-mail on my Android phone (rooted Motorola Defy, if you are interested).  Clicked Preview to view the attachment. QuickOffice opens, then disappears.

Grrr.

Uninstalling QuickOffice…. with Root Uninstaller.

Fire up Gmail again.  Click Preview on the attachment.  Gmail crashes.

GRRRRR.

Download and install Documents To Go.

Fire up Gmail again.  Click Preview on the attachment.   Choose Documents To Go Word Viewer.   OK.  I can see it now.

What a pain in the butt.

Some questions:

• Why can’t I view MS Office files (Word, Excel, etc) in HTML from the Gmail App natively?  Why depend on another app (Documents to Go, QuickOffice) when you have the technology already in the browser version of Gmail?
• There’s no Google Docs app for Android? Shocking.  I’m sure Google Docs are complex enough in the browser, let alone an app, but, come on, the Gmail app is complex.  Where’s the love for Google Docs?
• What?  There’s no simple way download attachments in the Gmail app?  Doesn’t make any sense.   Save My Attach by Lexa is a good solution, but it took some digging to find it.

What Android annoyances have you found?

Dear Annoying Worship Leader,

Please don’t order me around. I’m capable of participating in the corporate worship of my Savior without you micro-managing me from the stage. I’ll raise my hands when I want and I’ll keep them in my pockets when I want. I’m not going to sing louder or give God a hand unless He compels me. I am singing with all my heart, just not for you. My spirit? You don’t have to tell me to sing with that either. If I feel like clapping, I’ll clap. I would be still and listen to the Lord like you said, but your lips are still flapping.

I can read, too. You don’t have to tell me the next line from the song right before we sing it.

You say it’s not about the show, the loud music, the lights and the band. Oh, but it is. Quite obviously, actually.

And one last thing, stop interrupting.

Angrily Yours,

Adam

P.S. Nice jeans, but your hair…well….

(h/t bryanallain.com)

• Quoting from books
• Quoting the speaker at a conference
• Tweeting the score during a sporting event as it happens
• Only re-tweeting
• Telling your friends on Twitter not to spoil the show you DVR’d
• Tweeting a whole bunch things in a short amount of time
• Automated direct messages after a follow
• Excessive self-promotion of your company/blog/product
• Receiving a direct message from someone who doesn’t follow you
• Automated follows from people with <100 tweets

What did I miss?

So, AT&T, are you going to knock some off of my monthly bill, now that I have less??

Pfft.  I’m not holding my breath.

How do you justify advocating animal rights in a world filled with poverty and starvation? Joslyn DeGroot YPSILANTI, MICH.

Perhaps one of the most important things you can do for human beings is wean them off an animal-based diet. It hardens the arteries and runs up our health-care costs. The last thing a poor person can afford is a heart attack or cancer or a stroke. And that’s all linked to a meat-based diet. I think animal liberation is human liberation.

Uh-huh.

• Keith Olbermann — this guy is the epitome of obnoxious
• Hillary Clinton — like fingernails on the proverbial chalkboard
• Rosie O’Donnell — see note on Keith Olbermann, replace guy with, uh…something
• Kirsten Dunst — she’s smoked one too many doobies
• Al Gore –  how could Heisman trophy winner and Internet inventor not be on this list?
• Michael Moore — I wish someone would do a “documentary” about him
• Cindy Sheehan — glad she’s been out of the spotlight lately
• Lenny Dawson — should retire yesterday from broadcasting
• Jim Rome — his shtick is old and otherwise lame
• Katie Couric — I can’t believe she’s still hosting the CBS Evening News.  Ugh.

Dishonorable Mention

• Billy Packer — thankfully former CBS basketball commentator
• Oprah Winfrey — talk about the cult of personality
• Tom Cruise — uh, Scientology

If you are particular about how things look, you almost have to hack the HTML version.  Setting styles on text sometimes works, clearing formatting sometimes works, etc.

You’ll get in nested HTML tag hell pretty quickly just by doing basic text formatting — headings, bold, italics and so forth.

Don’t get me started on tables.  They’re even worse.

Old news.

I came downstairs to the computer the other morning to find an AVG ad on my screen.  Grrrr.  Any program installed on my machine that throws ads up on the screen is gonna to get uninstalled.

My co-workers kept raving about the Symantec AV that comes free with AT&T DSL.  I don’t know what I was thinking, but I thought I would give it a spin.

Stupid move.

I should have stopped when it required that I use IE instead of Firefox.  I had to set IE to my default browser.  The agony.

An hour and a half later, I’m beating my head against the brick wall of crap software that is Symantec Antivirus.  Here’s the lovely error message:

Problem is: There wasn’t a previous install or uninstall to be completed.  I did everything they told me.  I clicked here to resolve.  It didn’t.  I uninstalled AVG, Windows Defender, disabled my Windows Firewall, manually deleted my Temp files, etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum.  Four restarts later, I’m ranting right here.

Check out these moves:

Check, check, check and check.  Uninstall.  Yes, I’m sure.

Downloading the Norton Removal Tool.  Check.

Running…

Ahhhh…Freedom.

Looks like Dial wants you to buy less soap, literally.

I noticed the same thing with Kingsford charcoal a while back. They were decent enough to post somewhat believable scientific reasoning on their website.

Same thing with Tires Plus (no links for crappy companies), recently. We bought two new tires after a scary blow out up in MN. Their literature says “Free lifetime tire balancing.” Is it free? No, apparently we didn’t purchase the “Premium wheel balance.” How is that free again? Too bad the marketing isn’t true. Tires Plus won’t have to worry about me being a lifetime customer.

Yes, I really did want to explain to my 11 year-old daughter that sometimes companies use vague and deceptive marketing to up-sell you on something.

/rant

We all camped out at the annual Blue Springs Fall Fun Fest parade this morning…

Lame.

I’ve seen parades that were much better — in towns that are a small fraction of the size of Blue Springs.

Here are 10 things that I would change about the parade in Blue Springs:

1. I know we have a history of good gymnasts that train(ed) in Blue Springs, but come on, 5 mobs of obnoxious dance troupes? Why?
2. A middle school entry with no float and just a gang of kids? What’s up with that?
3. Where are the Shriners? Combines, mini-cars, go-carts, motorcycles — they’ve got to be there. Not just one group either.
4. The parade themes are lame — The Wild World of Sports?? I think I saw about two floats that even even made an attempt. I think some enforcement is required.
5. No horses? C’mon. Gotta have lots of animals.
6. More bicycles and skateboards. A freestyle bike act would be sweet.
7. I love the John Deere tractors and the Model-As and Model-Ts. Where were the big tractors? Where were the muscle cars? Where were the power-breaking and the glass-packs? And the jacked-up monster trucks?
8. Where were the pedal-powered contraptions — the crazy bikes and trikes?
9. There’s gotta be some tricked out choppers and motorcycles in this town. We got a Harley plant in Kansas City, for cryin’ out loud.
10. I think the Blue Springs Fall Fun Fest parade generally lacks forethought, imagination and creativity. It’s apparent to me in the parade entries and in the event planning.

I’m sick of the iPhone blathering and all of the talk about Steve Jobs being a cult leader.

(Here’s a link to the 1984 video and the Office Lemmings one.  Here’s a nice interview explaining the Cult of Mac. )

Enough already.

For those of you that think that the iPhone will be “all that,” here’s some things that it’s not.

Where’s Microsoft’s Clippy and the stupid-butt “Rover” Windows Search Companion that *still* persist to this day?

I really want to put all of the retail versions of Symantec Antivirus on the list. It was never the same after Peter Norton sold out to Symantec in 1990.

Oh and what about those Microsoft keyboards that have the Insert, Delete, Home, End, Page Up and Page Down keys reconfigured. Oooh, I hate that.

One thing that I hope my kids will always remember from their parents: If you tell a lie you get in worse trouble than if you told the truth about something bad.

Maybe I care too much about what others think about me or I take too much pride in my work.

Anyway…it hacks me off. Thanks for listening.